From technology to politics to video games; these are the random thoughts of a geek with too much time on his hands
Published on May 6, 2008 By Zoomba In Internet

Today we announced that the subscription price for WinCustomize was going to go up $10/year from $20 to $30.  Now, of course we had to come up with a good justification for this, something that would fool the sheep of the forums into believing we did this for their own good and that they're getting the better end of the deal.

But, just between you and me?  Complete BS. 

As some of you may know, today's Angie's birthday, so as a gift the company bought her a new car...

angie_car_lg

So that would have probably accounted for a $2.50 increase per subscription, but some of us were looking at that car and asked "What about us?"  After some haggling and stomping of feet and numerous rude gestures, we sold upper management on the idea of the Stardock Porsche Fleet...

 

zoomba seabass milksama

Each, of course, added $2.50 to the unit cost of a WinCustomize subscription. 

That's why the subscription is now $10 more per year.  Gotta pay for the fancy cars!

Now, I know some of you are probably getting worked up about this turn of events, especially considering how we told you it was really about the free skins, and not the Porsche fleet.  To calm your nerves, here's a serene picture of some geese...

021

That's right, here at Stardock HQ we have a fleet of Porsches AND cute little baby geese!

No kidding.


Comments (Page 6)
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on May 07, 2008
I love it when 'authorities' on stuff (who can't even spell 'apology', 'represent', 'complaint', etc.) get all hot and bothered.

It's more entertaining than the OP (which I saw for the beautiful satire it was, knowing full well how much Stardock respects and loves its customers - right, Zoomba and Karma? No cars without me, now ), and so full of angsty lovin' I can't help but watch with abject horror!

SanChonino slaps forehead.
on May 07, 2008
Well the subscription price may have gone up, however I've already reuped for 2 years at 20 bucks, and at my age I'll probably be dead before I've got to resubscribe...    
on May 07, 2008
My two pennies worth.... I can understand why Bruce Edwards got annoyed guys, maybe a gaff was made by not categorizing the original Post as Humour (the correct spelling, not "humor" as our american cousins would have us all believe it should be), so a slap on the back of the hand for Zoomba for "cocking it up" in his haste to take his new car for a spin, lol.

(Having said that, it doesn't take long to realise how satirical the Post is).

ps Send the cars back to the Showroom and invest in more wildlife, that'll help counter Global Environmental Pollution and guarantee that those Goslings have a happy life

pps Maybe this is why IP64 is taking so long.... the Stardock employee working on it is out of the office "posing" as he drives around Michegan in his shiny new red Porsche.       
on May 07, 2008
Pewhhh, you only got Porsche's???

I would have expected you to get yachts!!!

... and can we have pictures of your indoor Pools and gold-coated bathrooms at Stardock?
on May 07, 2008
It's amazing that this even has to defined as a joke.  Goodness.
on May 07, 2008
Bruce, You need to understand that the people at Stardock are like all of us, they like to poke fun at things. I for one have no problem in seeing the joke here. Its a shame you are so upset over something like this. If you want a company that has no sense of humor, than go to Microsoft, I for one LOVE the fact that Stardock has an awesome sense of humor, and that they love to poke fun at themselves. Having Brad come in and post things he does, these kinds of jokes, and the overall feel of "community" that I feel here at WC/SD makes this place what it is. I think SD is THE most "open" company I know of. What other company picks on its own customers, has its CEO tell people to !@##$! OFF, and tells you all about what they are doing all the time? If it pisses you off that bad... maybe wc is not the place for you. If you spent some time here getting to know the people, you would know that WC/SD is full of great people who are doing everything they can to make skinning fun, and avail to all. Just my .02
on May 07, 2008
Good Lord, what's going on lately?

Would someone find whatever asylum left the door open so we can call them to come pick up their loonies?


maybe a gaff was made by not categorizing the original Post as Humour


Personally, I don't like posting satire under "humor," because I feel it takes the edge off.


ps Send the cars back to the Showroom and invest in more wildlife, that'll help counter Global Environmental Pollution and guarantee that those Goslings have a happy life


I bought a fleet of cows instead of a fleet of cars. Sure deliveries were slower, but I thought I was helping the environment. Right? Then I got an injunction from the EPA saying all the methane from my cow fleet was driving up global warming. They slapped me with a huge fine. PETA sued me for hurting the cows feet by making them walk on asphalt instead of nice soft grass. The courts forced me to buy millions of roller skates so the cows could have an easier time. PETA wasn't happy and neither was I. The judge had a nice thick steak for lunch. Do you know how much outfitting all those cows with roller skates costs? I imported them from a third world country, but got sued by everyone under the sun for running sweat shops and encouraging child abuse. Some lawyer in Australia even told me if I didn't "opologize" (he said that was the correct spelling, no matter what we Americans thought) he'd bring the full force of Oz against me. In the end I couldn't afford all the lawsuits and was driven out of business. My cows were all sold off at auction. And that's how Ruth's Chris Steak House was born.

All that is to say, "Save a ton of money, stop child labor in third world countries, and prevent global warming: Buy a fleet of Porches."

And you good little sheep accomplish all that with a measly $10? Lucky sods.

on May 07, 2008
Discusted


someone took your custard? you poor thing
on May 07, 2008

Good Morning!

I'm glad that the vast majority of you were able to quickly identify the joke.  What was the first tip off?  The heavy over-dramatic tone?  The photo of Brad's porsche with Angie standing behind it?  Perhaps it was the ridiculously arbitrary "cost" that made no sense?  Maybe it was the really silly photoshop on the subsequent 3 photos with my, seabass and milksama's names edited in?

I bet everyone was fooled until the geese.  I mean seriously, geese?  Has to be a joke now right?

Or maybe it was pretty much the stark opposite of how we've always regarded site subscribers and our users (minus the belligerent ones, we have a low threshold for those) these many years.  This actually reminds me of the time I made a Mac joke on the site and a few users acted like I had murdered their mothers.

Zoomba wonders when people lost their sense of humor.

on May 07, 2008
impied


You're hungry aren't you? that's it, you're blood sugar is low and you can't concentrate nor create rational sentences.... you are really having trouble keeping food references out of your irrational whines.

I also have to wonder what internet site you purchased your law degree from... I don't want to shop there.
on May 07, 2008
someone took your custard? you poor thing


      

Okay, so Bruce..... exactly what can you do about this? Cry a lil? To be quite honest, the fact that you allowed this joke to upset you so much is a little silly. What kind of lawyer are you? I'd hate to have to rely on you to keep a cool head in the courtroom!

On a more positive note, I think any sheep paid up through at least 2010 should get a car too. I don't really need a Porsche....I'll settle for a BMW. Red. 5-speed. Convertible.

With a CD/MP3 player, please.....

And I like my geese with a little basil and rosemary!
on May 07, 2008
Baaa... ahem... I mean, BMW?... Still want a pony
on May 07, 2008

 

i wonder how many others are unsure about this PR blunder? Stardock shoulde not allow little children to write such articles without expereice in the consumer market. I wonder howe many others are as offended as I?

I can only assume that you joking....especially when you made this comment:

Wizard............ I cant take your comments seriously until you post your real full name?as I have.

But, just to be clear- implying that you will post warez to this site is never taken as a joke, and is grounds for removal from the site. 

 

And, in case there is anyone left out there that doesn't have a sense of humor, I'll clear this up:

1) We like to poke fun at ourselves.  We're worse than this in person. 

2) I think the poorly photoshopped sign is a real giveaway.  What is even funnier is that we had to take the picture twice because we spelled Porsche wrong the first time. 

3) The Porsche was previously revealed: https://forums.joeuser.com/171074  It's the owner's Porsche.  And, when you think of it, if the owner can't afford a Porsche, we're a pretty pathetic company.

4) Yesterday really was my Birthday.  With that, it is typical of me to do something stupid because it's..well...fun.

5) The goslings (baby geese) really do live outside of Stardock.  They are funny little buggers.

6) The subscription price has nothing to do with our silliness.  We're providing 12 skins a year now, which have a total value of $60+ per customer.  However, I rather have a Porsche.

Stardock will continue to have its sense of humor.  If you are offended by obvious humor, this is not a place for you.

on May 07, 2008
I'm still waiting for my Porsche as well. I told them I'd settle for a Charger or a Mustang but have yet to see it. I should protest!


p.s. Happy Late B-day Angie.  I'd draw something ,but my skillz suck... that's why you have Stardock Design.
on May 07, 2008

What is even funnier is that we had to take the picture twice because we spelled Porsche wrong the first time.

Don't tell me....you left out the 'c', right?....

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