We shall have NO silliness here! Hey! You in the back! Is that a SMILE I see?!!?
JoeUser... I come before you on a matter of grave import. I come to speak to an issue that threatens the very fabric of our little Universe, our sacred corner of the great Information Superhighway. This is a disease of the mind, one that is highly contagous and is slowly eating away at the moral and intellectual fiber of this great place.
You know what I speak of, deep in your hearts you know exactly what this threat is....
Silliness.
Yes, that's right, silliness! It comes disguised sometimes as goofiness too. Occassionally it sneaks in under the pretense of whimsy or light-heartedness. Do not let these subtle acts of humor go unnoticed! Seek them out, punish them fully and drive them out of our sight! We can not allow "humor" to corrupt any article that is not designated as humor. We can not allow jokes to lessen the value of what is written here! JoeUser must be a haven for those of us who want to write about book lines or tattoos or other items of great meaning and importance without fear of irreverant comments destroying the profound and deep meaning behind the words.
This "silliness" goes well beyond comments though. Yes my friends, this conspiracy of non-serious behavior goes much deeper I'm afraid. Some take it so far as to write humorous articles, or adopt over-the-top fictional personas that lay it on so thick it should be impossible to mistake it as real or serious. These people are the very bottom of the barrel, the very dregs of our virtual society as they spend their time here writing absurd and histrionic pieces. Every "false" story written lessens the value of the serious, hard-working individuals here when they themselves share with us the deeply dramatic experience of going to the grocery store, or filling up a tank of gas. Those jokers ruin this place for those of us who want to engage in serious debate over the better TelleTubby, or our favorite shade of orange.
Together, we can band together and drive out these heathens, these writers of humor, these bringers of mirth and merriment where we expect, nay DEMAND, absolute seriousness.
Join me, JU Brothers and Sisters in my campaign! We shall make this place once more safe for the self-important and humorless!
*This article brought to you by the Society of People Who Take JoeUser Waaaaaaay Too Seriously.
**Article written with tongue planted firmly in-cheek