And other idiocies in online gaming...
If you’ve ever played an game online, be it Halo, CounterStrike, Everquest or even Chess, you’ve probably encountered a slew of people who act and talk like they’ve suffered some sort of massive head trauma and are housed in special padded cells for both their own safety and the safety of others. These not-so-rare individuals are one of a few general categories of players I’ve seen in online games. Brad has posted in the past his list of forum and blogger stereotypes, so now I present to you my list of gamer stereotypes.
These are but a handful of the really out-there behaviors I’ve seen in the past several years of online gaming. My observances are a mixture of in-game actions, forum posts, and real-time game chats. I know not all players fall into these categories, and that in fact the vast majority fall into that “Silently playing and enjoying the game” group, I’m merely looking at the most vocal and humorous types I’ve seen.
1. Teh g4m3r!
This is actually a stereotype that has multiple subgroups under it. This type of player is most easily identified by their use of 1337 speak (leet speak for those not in-the-know) and an excessive number of punctuation marks (j00 sux0rz!!!!!!1!1!!!!!). Rarely does this player say anything that isn’t abusive or insulting. They follow the idea “If you don’t have anything nice to say, scream it at the top of your lungs.” If you listened to this sort of gamer, you’d get the impression that every single game ever produced is horrible crap not worth playing and that every player in the world couldn’t shoot/build/move their way out of a wet paper bag. These gamers tend to be angry little teenage males, or other people who think they’re being “clever” or whatnot by impersonating them in a mocking manner (hint: you aren’t the first person to think that mocking these people by impersonating them is amusing… it’s gotten old, please stop).
2. The “Uber” Gamer
I’m sure you know at least one person who just has to be the best at everything they do, reaching the #1 slot in some sport, or skilled hobby. They can’t accept anything less, and if they can’t be the best at something, then obviously it’s just not an activity worth their amazingly precious time. They won’t accept anything less than winning all the time. These people behave the same in online games. They figure out how to make the most powerful character possible (or at least what they think is the most powerful). In games the only way to really prove that you’re the “best” is typically at the expense of other players. It’s all well and good to run around saying “I’m the best Bunny Slayer that ever was in this game!” but if no one sees you, where’s the proof? These people like to show off, usually through kill-stealing from other players, or grief killing them in PvP (Watch me slay this lvl 5 warrior with my Spell of ULTIMATE Doom [lvl50]!).
The other way these players manifest is on game forums, every single time a patch comes out that in any way changes the balance of a game. Any change that makes them more in-line with the powers of other classes, races etc… is called a “nerf” (i.e. to nerf a power is to make it useless… like the comparison in effectiveness between a glock pistol and a nerf gun… bullets vs foam darts). “What do you mean you’ve made bunnies stronger?! My level 98234 BunnySlayer with a Sword of Bunny Smiting +27874 can only kill 8596 bunnies per minute now as opposed to 8599 per minute! This sucks! You’ve ruined my class!!” Also, any change that makes any class or race that this player doesn’t play better is giving a completely unfair advantage to those other players, which the devs ALWAYS do because they love the other classes and secretly have a personal grudge against the BunnySlayers.
I actually saw someone in the new CounterStrike complain that he could no longer shoot through walls (the old engine couldn’t make objects solid enough in some cases, allowing you to shoot through what appeared to be a stone wall), and that the removal of that bug ruined the game, because shooting through walls was a “skill” all “real” players had, that it wasn’t a cheat or exploit at all.
3. Thespians/OCD
Ever gone to a Renaissance Faire and seen those people who don’t actually work there, running around in authentic era clothing and hand-made armor? (I used to know a guy who made his own chain mail during slow times at work) You know, the ones who criticize the authenticity of anything within their area of expertise. These were the people who came out of the Lord of the Rings movies grumbling over how Gimli’s hair should have had a different number of braids in it, that Peter Jackson obviously had no clue what he was doing because Aragorn’s cloak was Green 231 as opposed to Green 230 which is just SO OBVIOUS to anyone who ever READ the books… or the people coming out of the Star Wars Special Edition films going “Damnit, HAN SHOOTS FIRST!!! You’ve forever ruined Star Wars George Lucas!!!!!” (now, with the new movies it’s a different story, they flat out suck).
These people come in droves to MMORPGs such as EverQuest, Asheron’s Call or Star Wars Galaxies, because of the imagined promise of either an engrossing role-playing experience or a 100% authentic recreation of their favorite fantasy/sci-fi gaming setting. Invariably they become disappointed with the results and take flight to the forums or heavily populated game areas and decide to nit-pick everything about everyone and every item in the game. They take the stance that they are the only “true” players here because they actually try and role-play, and everyone else are just unwashed heathens who have been given the privilege of sharing this online experience. I mean come on, how could you go along happily playing when you’re wielding a “dagger” that is OBVIOUSLY a short sword, and that armor has the rivets in all the wrong places… and who on earth has ever heard of an elf with ears less than 5” long base to point tip… I mean sheesh people, are you that stupid on purpose?!?!
They believe themselves to be the true guardians of the source material, whatever it may be, and they have far more in-depth knowledge of it than the developers could possibly ever hope to have (even when the developers are the ones who invented the world in the first place).
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All of these groups tend to share one overriding belief; that they are the single most important player in the entire game and that their experience and knowledge is all that matters! If a change angers them, then the game has been completely and irreversibly ruined for EVERYONE. If anyone agrees with the changes made, obviously they’re just a fanboi who fawns over the devs and will do anything they say… mere sheep.
What’s sad about all of this is it seems these are the people game devs have to deal with the most. They make a change and see this overwhelming backlash against it on forums, and think they might have made a mistake. The masses of us who simply enjoy their games rarely say a word (because we’re too busy playing), giving the impression that perhaps things are broken/bad. These very vocal people also have a tendency of not only affecting game design and direction, but they tend to ruin the experience of other players. I simply refuse to play any game over Battle.Net because of the average player that populates it. They’re abusive and nasty. I tend to only play online games now with a core group of people I’ve come to know and get along with… every time I’ve tried to just play with the general game population, I’m disappointed by their behavior. Camping, kill-stealing, spamming, griefing… it’s the reason I have left many many MMORPGs in the past few years. It’s why I honestly prefer single player only games most of the time. I play games to relax and escape the crap from daily life… not to get more abuse and frustration heaped on me.