Alternate Identity Blogs

Who would YOU be?

Published on May 13, 2005 By Zoomba In Blogging

I'm sure a lot of you have already discovered this, but in case you haven't, you should check out the Darth Vader Blog: http://darthside.blogspot.com (The Darth Side: Memoirs of a Monster)

The thing is an absolute riot. It's a half comedy half philosophy journal covering Star Wars A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi from the perspective of Darth Vader. I highly recommend it to everyone, regardless of whether or not you like Star Wars, this is just funny and excellently well written. If you want to read it in chronological order (i.e. following the movies) you'll need to go back in the archives to the first article and read your way forward.

Blogs like that one are a lot of fun to read, and I imagine a lot of fun to write too. What would be YOUR alternate blogging identity?

Me? I'd be Beaker from The Muppet Show. You know, the one who goes "Meep!" a lot and gets blown up

=The Beaker's Half-Empty: Thoughts of a Frustrated Genius=

Singed eyebrows. Going to kill my coworker.

Today, my "esteemed colleague" Dr. Bunson decided to test the reaction from mixing two radioactive isotopes in solution along with a bit of Na and pure Oxygen. Sadly, the results were a bit violent and I ended up being slightly singed in the process. Again. I don't think I'll ever have eyebrows again.

I tried to warn him before it happened... I mean everyone knows that mixing pure sodium and oxygen causes a pretty nasty explosion. However, the buffoon just gives me a puzzled look every time I try and say ANYTHING to him. It's like I'm speaking some foreign lanaguage. Is it really so hard for him to understand 'Don't! It's going to blow up!' ??

The fool swears all I ever do is make beeping, or squeaking noises. Or maybe it's meeping? I don't know and gave up trying to puzzle out his insane ramblings. The man is supposed to be a world reknown scientist and he can't even understand basic English. I think he may need to have his ears checked... I mean for the love of GOD man, I performed SHAKESPEARE in college. People came from miles around to hear my rousing rendition of Hamlet. I would get through the famous To Be or Not To Be monologue and the crowd would be out of their chairs, on the floor with tears streaming down their faces, mouths agape in toothy grins of pure extacy. Do YOU think they'd react that way if I was standing up there going "Meep me, mer mee Meep me"!? I THINK NOT!

Why must I constantly torture myself by working with this ignoramous!? This maroon?! If it weren't for his bumbling antics nearly getting me killed on a daily basis, I could have had the Nobel Prize by now! I think he knows this and is jealous of me. I think all these "accidents" may be attempts on my life. Could he feel so threatened by my pure genius that he would try and end me?! I must go and ponder this further.

I think he plans on replacing me with that psychotic chef friend of his... all the man does is go "Bork bork bork!" Hardly holds a candle to my verbal abilities...
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Comments

chiprj

on May 13, 2005

Some of these are really well written. One of my favorites is Kim Jong Il's blog, although he hasn't updated since the election. Really funny stuff!

http://www.livejournal.com/users/kim_jong_il__/

joeKnowledge

on May 14, 2005

You should check out Britney Spears unborn child's blog. That is funny too

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